PSYCHOLOGY
You’re Probably Too Old for a “Will They or Won’t They” Relationship
It’s a catchphrase people often use when talking about a man and a woman who obviously have feelings for each other but whose relationship isn’t properly defined:
“Will they or won’t they actually get together?”
Movie and TV romance love this kind of cliché, and it’s popular because audiences enjoy being kept on their toes for that much-awaited First Kiss or Love Confession that concludes a lot of unresolved feelings.
But unlike popular media, the “will they or won’t they” relationship trope isn’t always as exciting in real life.
Maybe at the start, when you’re filled with the first flush of romantic interest, or when you’re young and all you have as a basis for romance are the fictional couples whose love stories you follow on primetime television.
But there will come a point in life when this kind of thing stops being enjoyable. You will realize that a mature relationship is so much more than taking two steps forward only to take one step back.
And that realization is often preceded by the following signs:
You’re tired of all the drama.
If you know in your heart that you don’t have any patience left for a dramatic courtship that is passionate but uncertain, then the “will they or won’t they” relationship is likely not going to do it for you.
Drama is part of the appeal for people who embark on this type of romantic journey. It’s why the “situationship” trend is so messy yet so popular.
But if you don’t want a relationship that is as complicated as it is entertaining, then you’re better off looking for something else.
Maybe now you’re ready for the more lasting sort of love and the kind of relationship that is as comforting as it is true.
The thrill of the chase is just not worth it anymore.
Unresolved Sexual Tension this, Friends with Benefits that.
Arguably the biggest draw for a relationship like this is the thrill of the chase. The uncertainty creates the excitement. The longer it’s drawn out, the greater the satisfaction is when the two people involved do finally get together.
But if you have neither the time nor the interest to pursue someone who is still more interested in the chase, then none of that promised excitement will be worth it for you anymore.
You know exactly what you want in a relationship.
The older you get, the more experience you have with love and relationships.
The question of “Will they or won’t they get together?” loses its appeal when you know you want to be with someone. What’s the point of beating around the bush, right?
Sure, there’s always the argument that you’re probably not compatible or that men and women are perfectly capable of being friends.
This is why if the person you’ve set your eyes on doesn’t want you back, then you’d rather they tell you right away. That way, you can begin the process of letting go, moving on, and finding the one who is as ready as you are.
You just want to start the rest of your life as soon as possible.
It’s hard to be happy about a “will they or won’t they relationship” if all you want is to find your true love and build your home and future with them.
You’ve done your own soul-searching and you know you’re ready for a committed relationship. The excitement of risk and uncertainty just won’t cut it anymore.
That kind of adrenaline rush is better left with the young.
As for you, you’re ready for more fulfilling work — the work of settling down with your soulmate.
And there’s not a day for you to lose.
