ADVICE
Find Out What Kills Long-Distance Relationships
So it doesn’t kill yours
A lot of people believe that long-distance relationships are not worth it, and you know what? I can’t exactly blame them.
It’s hard enough to build a solid and loving partnership between two people with different personalities, belief systems, and ways of looking at the world. Imagine doing it when you can’t even be physically together most of the time.
But what kills long-distance relationships isn’t a mysterious force that only lucky couples with the secret weapon can successfully overcome.
The actual basis for why LDR fails involves key factors that can be avoided if you know what you’re doing.
Not Being on the Same Page
Being in a committed LDR is about having an understanding between your partner when it comes to what you want from your relationship and what you’re expecting from each other.
When one partner has assumptions that the other doesn’t share, that’s usually what kills long-distance relationships. The incompatibility makes it easy for couples to end up disappointed and develop resentment, which in turn creates all the other issues that make it hard to maintain the arrangement.
So before you even try this kind of setup for you and your significant other, make sure you’ve discussed everything there is to discuss — from how exclusive you want to be to whether or not you’re both in it for the long haul.
Doing Things Out of Compliance
Asking quantitative questions like, “How long can a long-distance relationship last without seeing each other?” or “What is the minimum amount of time for communication when you’re in an LDR?” is often unhelpful. Those questions are about numbers, and relationships are seldom about numbers.
When you turn your relationship into a checklist with items that you need to accomplish in order for you to say that your LDR is successful, you’re gonna end up weary and frustrated.
Burnout and the failure to remember your actual objectives? Also on the list of what kills long-distance relationships.
You don’t have to be pressured into making plans to see each other soon or even talk every day. Sometimes, that’s just not feasible, and that’s okay.
Neither of you are accumulating points that can guarantee your relationship will come out victorious where others crashed and burned. You just need to remember what matters most and hold on to that.
After all, you and your partner don’t need to get a perfect score. You just have to reach the finish line.
Lack of Trust and Respect
Something that many don’t seem to realize is that long-distance relationships are just like any other relationships in many aspects. They also require the basics to thrive and succeed.
This is true for LDR couples who need to foster trust and respect within each other.
In fact, taking for granted trust and respect can ultimately be what kills long-distance relationships, because they arguably need it more.
When you can’t always be together, you have to trust that your partner will remain loyal to you. You also shouldn’t give them any reason to doubt you.
And when you sign up for an LDR, you have to respect the decision that you made together.
Respect your partner enough to understand that when they can’t talk to you, it’s for a good reason. If they can’t visit you yet, it doesn’t mean they never will.
With trust and respect, your relationship will remain strong no matter the challenges that come your way — be it distance or other circumstances.
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