DATING REALITIES
Do You Have Unrealistic Dating Expectations?
Everyone has standards, especially when it comes to love.
But as a relationship consultant, I know all too well that it’s easy for these standards to turn into unrealistic dating expectations, leading people to approach romance in less-than-ideal ways. Some get convinced that nobody’s worth the effort and they set themselves up for failure, while others end up spending a huge part of their lives searching for something that, ultimately, doesn’t really exist.
Nobody is immune to either type of mindset, so if you feel like your own dating standards are becoming a little too hard for potential lovers to achieve, you may need examine yourself for some of these common signs:
You think couples should never fight.
If you think a couple should never disagree with each other, no matter what, then I have news for you: your standards are too high.
A relationship is composed of two people with different minds and personalities, so there will always be times when you won’t see eye to eye. If you hold on to unrealistic dating expectations that include either always being in control or hiding how you truly feel, then you’ll never learn the art of fighting with someone you love not to win but to reach an intimate understanding.
You want dates to always be “perfect”.
No amount of planning will ever give you a perfect date. There’s just no such thing.
If you can’t enjoy yourself because you’re too fixated on getting all the details right, then all you’re doing is nursing unrealistic dating expectations. Not only will you be wasting everyone’s time, you’ll also miss out on imperfect but beautiful moments that will eventually turn into treasured memories.
You want your partner to spend all their time with you.
This will most likely just fast-track you to being labeled needy or clingy.
While it’s understandable to want to spend a lot of time with your significant other, it’s also not ideal — not to mention possible — to spend every waking moment with them. These kinds of unrealistic dating expectations can also lead you to become irrationally jealous and suspicious of your partner’s activities, things that are not advised if you want a healthy relationship.
You think your partner should be able to read your mind.
Yes, communication is important in dating, but it doesn’t mean you should assume your partner will always automatically know what you’re thinking.
The nearly telepathic way married and other long-term couples talk to each other can take years to develop, and even they won’t always be able to anticipate every word and every thought.
You think true love is found and not made.
Most unrealistic dating expectations can be traced back to a person’s concept of “true love”.
If you hold on to the idea that love is something you should simply wait for, something that will come to you in perfect gift wrap with a ribbon tied around it, then you’ll only be disappointed.
Successful dating may allow you to cross paths with someone special, but it still takes time and commitment to build a healthy and lasting relationship. The sooner you can let go of your unrealistic dating expectations, the better your chances are of having something close to the true love everybody’s always dreamed of.
