DATING
Things People Get Wrong about First Dates
When it comes to romance, first dates have gained quite a reputation.
Popular media and the grapevine paint a picture that’s often black and white — a first date is either the best and most spectacular event of your relationship, where you both discover something special in each other, or it’s an absolute disaster.
But as in most things, the truth can usually be found between two extremes.
That First Impression Lasts (And Is Always Right)
First impressions are very important when you want someone to like you, and for first dates, that’s kind of the whole point.
This is why people who expect to meet the love of their life pull out all the stops: they dress to kill, make reservations at the fanciest restaurants, and pack the cheesiest puns and pickup lines.
But this mindset is often what makes first dates so intimidating.
They’re seen as all-or-nothing situations when, in fact, they’re really just step one. Sure, it’s still nice when a date finds you attractive and interesting, but there’s always going to be room for improvement down the road.
Getting to know a person doesn’t end after first dates. As long as you’re both on the same page, you can still correct misunderstandings and continue dazzling your new special someone.
There’s no rush.
That You Need to Put Your Best Foot Forward
Since first impressions during first dates aren’t the be-all and end-all of true love, it also means you don’t have to achieve perfection when you’re meeting someone for the first time.
Another thing that most people tend to fixate on when it comes to first dates is how to be their most impressive self. There’s no room for flaws, and every awkward moment is an automatic failure. You’re expected to have all the best questions and the right answers, and you need to exhibit only your positive qualities.
But aside from the pressure you put on yourself, this kind of thinking also creates unrealistic dating expectations.
If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’re bound to discover your future partner’s imperfections. As such, first dates don’t always have to be a bragging contest.
After all, it’s not a job interview. It’s an opportunity to begin something great but very much real.
That Blind Dates Suck
The practice of dating total strangers is usually one of the reasons why first dates are expected to end up as future embarrassing anecdotes.
Not only are you at the whim of someone you’ve never talked to before, the odds of you having a good time are entirely dependent on the judgment of the people who arranged the meeting.
But blind dates don’t always have to be dreaded. In fact, some end up as pleasant surprises, even happy ever afters. You just need a good bridge.
First dates with strangers can be a great experience if you have good luck and friends who have your best interests in mind.
That First Dates Have to Be Magical for It to Be Successful
In the end, first dates seem so much larger than life because it’s placed on a high pedestal.
Especially for first-timers, who don’t have a lot of experience and can still look at dating through rose-colored glasses, the expectations can be enormous.
But a once-in-a-lifetime, magical connection is a pretty tall order not just for yourself but also for your date, and chasing that fantasy can make you take for granted the smaller moments — moments that can be the beginning of something softer and more quiet but all the more special.
So the next time you go on first dates, try to be a little easier on yourself.
You don’t have to tick all the boxes on a checklist or remember the advice of every single person who knows something about love.
You just have to be yourself and hope that it’s enough for the person waiting for you.
Related read
