DATING ADVICE
What They Don’t Tell You about Dating Foreigners
When it comes to dating and relationships, one of my most enthusiastic beliefs is this: you need to step out of your comfort zone.
It’s helped me a lot in both my professional work and my personal affairs. If I’m being honest, it’s also partly to blame for my (slightly exaggerated but not really untrue) reputation when it comes to dating foreigners.
Because if the world is my oyster and I have to face the unknown in order to explore it, then my quest for love shouldn’t just be limited to my corner of the world. In order for me to be sure that I’ve exhausted all my options and that I know exactly what I want in a partner and in a relationship, I need to meet as many different people as I possibly can.
Ain’t All Sunshine and Rainbows
But despite this particular advocacy of mine — and even though I constantly sing praises of international dating and all the ways it can help people meet the love of their lives — I also can’t deny the fact that it has both ups and downs.
For one, dating foreigners is a lot easier in theory than it is in practice.
While I’m fortunate enough that my work allows me to travel, it wasn’t always like that, and it certainly isn’t the case for most people. Proximity plays a huge part in the kinds of people we meet and interact with, and for international dating, physical distance is almost impossible to ignore.
Another obstacle for people when dating foreigners (or even just dating people you’re not already friends with) is how much guts it takes to bridge that gap between strangers to would-be lovers.
Not only is it harder to find something in common with someone who was born and raised on the other side of the globe, the difference in language and customs can also cause a lot of hilarious and awkward first encounters.
(I know I’ve had more than my fair share of botched first impressions where my charm just. . . got lost in translation.)
Secrets of the Trade
I’m definitely no expert (if dating foreigners is even something one can have an expertise in), but I have made a career of learning the ins and outs of international dating, so I do have a few tricks up my sleeves.
For those looking to try their luck in finding their twin flame or soulmate or the proverbial love of their life somewhere in the greater world, allow me to offer a few tips I don’t often hear from others but that I’m sure have great merit:
Prepare to be discriminated against or ostracized.
It will happen and sometimes, there’s nothing you can do about it. Especially for those who choose to live in another country to be with their foreign partners, being singled out is to be expected. The best thing you can do is to remember the things and the people who are really important and to focus on things you can control.
Don’t pressure yourself into loving everything about your partner’s country and culture.
There will be parts about your partner’s culture and traditions that you won’t agree with or simply won’t like. That’s just one undeniable reality of dating foreigners. Whether it’s the weather in their hometown or their favorite dish, there will just be things that aren’t your cup of tea. But as long as you’re respectful about it, and you don’t let it stop you from trying, it’s not going to be a deal-breaker for you or your partner.
Learn your foreign partner’s language.
It’s not a requirement, and communication issues are always expected, but even if it takes time, learning the language of your partner is one of the best ways to get to know each other more and to strengthen your relationship.
Accept that it won’t always be extraordinary.
At the end of the day, dating foreigners shouldn’t be a trend that you want to try just to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Sometimes, your relationship will be spectacularly boring or even short lived. You don’t go into international dating to find an exotic lover, after all. You do it in hopes of finding someone you won’t mind loving until no part of them remains foreign to you.
