Self-Improvement

Rewrite Your Story Through Practical Self-Improvement

Marta Levchenko
6 min readDec 2, 2024
A man with a cigar.
Self-improvement isn’t just for weak men. It’s for everyone. | Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

What would you change about yourself if you think it would give you a better shot at your dream woman, career, or dream life?

A lot of guys give up on dating because they think that women’s standards have gotten too high and they’re under the belief that they’ll never be able to reach them.

That’s not always true though. Sure, some women, and men, for that matter, have unrealistic standards. But most people are realistic and just want someone who’s nice to them and who is mildly attractive.

But dating isn’t the only thing a man might give up on. Maybe it’s his career. Maybe it’s his social life. Maybe it’s his dream, or life in general. Maybe he looks in the mirror and he doesn’t like the guy staring back at him, not just because he can’t get dates, but because his life sucks and he’s tired of living it.

If this is you, what are you supposed to do about it?

How do you go from hating yourself to living a fulfilling life with no regrets?

While self-improvement is mostly mental, not everyone can begin to love themselves at a snap of a finger.

Just like how tidying up a room and reveling in its cleanliness doesn’t happen in an instant, you need to take a step-by-step approach to improve yourself and consequently, your dating life.

To begin your self-improvement journey, here are a few practical things to tackle head-on:

1. Begin by tidying up your surroundings

The very first thing that you need to do to work on yourself is to clean up. Get a haircut, shave, brush your teeth, tidy up your living space, and take a long shower to get the dirt and grime off of you.

The part about a tidy living space is especially important. Neat, ordered surroundings can help a person think clearly. Remember, disorganized thoughts are anathema to self work. Also, regular cleaning can help you develop the discipline you need in order to build self-improvement habits.

2. Focus on your physical health

Once your surroundings are taken care of, what about your appearance? Unless you’re blessed with the very best of genetics, you’re going to look in the mirror and see things you don’t like. Maybe your arms aren’t as big as you’d like and your belly is too big. Maybe your legs are too skinny, giving you what workout enthusiasts call ‘chicken legs.’

Well, for those things, diet and exercise are needed. Cut out the fat and sugar, and increase lean protein and plant-based foods to burn fat and build muscle. Exercise a lot more. Do you want a smaller belly? Do cardio and crunches. Do you want bigger arms and legs? Lift weights.

A man working out.
Work on ypurself by working out. | Photo by Krzysztof Biernat on Pexels

Not only can an improvement in diet and exercise improve the way a person looks and physical health, the endorphin rush from exercise can also improve mental health as well. You even have to fully commit to it. A 30 day self-improvement challenge can be the first step towards building better habits.

Developing healthy habits and being consistent with them is hard. Sometimes a cheeseburger is more tempting than steamed chicken, vegetables, and white rice, but being able to rise up temptation in order to serve a larger goal will develop perseverance.

3. Don’t be afraid to get help.

Speaking of mental health, the most important step you can take in your self-improvement is to go to a therapist. A lot of the things that drag a person down — bad exercise, untidy living spaces, a negative outlook on life — can be symptoms of a mental illness like depression.

Even if there isn’t a diagnosis of mental illness, going to a therapist can still help you get to the root of your problems and give you the tools you need in order to overcome them. If you want to keep always improving, then you need the tools to do so.

4. Man Up

The above are general and can work for everyone. But what about men’s self-improvement specifically? What if you don’t feel like you’re man enough because you’re not some man’s man lumberjack who can chop down a tree with a single swing? How can you improve your masculine self-image?

One thing you can do in order to improve that facet of your self-image is to take up martial arts. Learning how to fight can be a great way for you to build up your confidence. It can make you feel like an alpha male. This doesn’t mean that you should go out and pick fights, since the discipline to discern when to use force is part of being a man’s man.

A man counting money.
Money isn’t everything, but it’s often a result of you choosing to stay on your own path. | Photo by Kuncheek on Pexels

5. Focus on a stable career path

Speaking on masculine self-improvement, you may feel like you need to make money. Maybe you want to have fancy cars and big houses. Maybe you want to be able to provide for your family. Maybe you just want the power and respect that comes with a high-paying job.

But you may find yourself stalled in your career. So, what can you do? You can consider going back to school and getting advanced qualifications like a master’s degree or a doctorate, or even just certifications to open up new opportunities and career paths for yourself. You can approach your boss and talk about growth opportunities. You can even consider changing jobs entirely. All of these are valid options for you if you want to improve your career.

Something else to note is that there’s no shortage of men who don’t feel like they’re enough and there are a lot of people who know about the declining self-image of those men, especially when it comes to romance and money.

Because of this, they often go on podcasts or elsewhere on the internet and they say that they’re millionaires and that they can get any woman that they want and they’ll market courses that can help any man have the money and women he wants.

Most of these courses are nothing but the modern equivalent of snake oil. Their tips to pick up women will mostly result in rejection and the money-making schemes will not work out or be generic business advice that could be found for free if they’re not illegal outright.

Choose to be that man

When it comes to romance, there are a few things you can do in order to have better results. First, you have to work on yourself. Doing the things listed above should improve you mentally and physically. It should make you more confident in yourself.

That confidence is going to make you more attractive to women as confidence is a trait that women are attracted to.

Doing all the above may not result in you becoming a millionaire with six-pack abs and a harem of women, but doing the above will help you develop good habits that you can carry into all aspects of your life.

Self-improvement is not a step-by-step process. It’s a habit, it’s consistency. A man who wants to improve has to be always striving for positive change and personal improvement.

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