ONLINE DATING

This Is Why Online Dating Is Not Working for You

Marta Levchenko
3 min readJan 11, 2024
A man in a black suit facing a laptop
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

In one of his famous plays, Shakespeare wrote, “The course of true love never did run smooth.”

If you’re someone looking for your soulmate in this modern world, I’m sure you know exactly how not-smooth the road to true love can get. There’s too much distraction. And peer pressure. Popular media also has a lot of opinions about relationships.

Apparently, online dating aims to make at least some of these challenges a little easier to handle.

So if even that is not helping you when it comes to matters of the heart, you can end up wondering if there’s something you’re not doing right.

It’s possible. Let’s find out, shall we?

You’re Not Using the Right Resources

Sometimes, your struggles with online dating are because you’re on the wrong website.

If you’re not using an app or service that caters to your specific needs, it can be difficult to find what you’re looking for.

It’s good if the only consequence is you wasting time. But if you’re not careful, you can compromise your safety and even lose money if you use non-legitimate resources.

You Don’t Have Realistic Expectations

Another common pitfall for people trying out online dating is having expectations that don’t always reflect reality.

Yes, the internet is supposed to make things faster and more convenient, but even technology has its limitations.

Just because you can meet new people and talk to someone you like online doesn’t mean that the dating process itself will suddenly be easier, or that the love of your life is literally just one click away.

You still need to exert effort and take a few risks if you really want to be with someone who is good for you.

You’re Not Taking Initiative

Speaking of effort and risk, you also need to be confident enough to take the first step whenever necessary.

You can’t make online dating work for you if you won’t try, and this applies to things like sending the first message or making your interest known instead of simply waiting for someone to notice you.

There are a lot of opportunities that modern dating practices can give you, but you need to face your fears in order to get what you want.

Your Focus Is too Narrow

Not seeing the bigger picture is one other reason that can explain why you still haven’t had much luck when it comes to finding someone special online.

Dating websites can connect you to people from all over the world, but it’s also tempting to stay within your comfort zone. Sticking to what you know and refusing to expand your horizons can mean you’re not exploring all the options available to you.

But if you take advantage of everything that online dating has to offer, you may just realize that the right one for you has been waiting on the other side of the world.

You Treat Online Dating as the End Instead of Just the Means

One of the most important things to remember, and sadly, something a lot of people tend to forget, is that online dating is just part of the journey to true love. It’s not the end goal.

You can meet different people from different parts of the globe, but you still have to commit to an actual plan of getting to know them better outside of the internet.

As soon as you think it’s safe, you can schedule a meetup or book a trip to see each other in person. Remember, online dating is simply a tool. You’ll still need to do the hard work yourself.

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