SELF REFLECTION & LOVE
The Day I Stopped Being Ashamed of Wanting Love
For all its popularity, love remains a highly controversial topic and the subject of so many heated debates all over the world.
Everywhere, you can see people scoffing at couples being sweet in public or hear the phrase “hopeless romantic” used as an insult that’s synonymous with “desperate” or “delusional.”
As a professional matchmaker, I’m no stranger to these scenarios. In fact, I’ve learned to brush it all off and go about my day.
There are times, however, when I can’t help but wonder why some see it as a crime to worry about being alone in life. Like love is an embarrassing need to have. Or something you should only want in secret.
Which, of course, is not true.
But coming to terms with that isn’t always the easiest journey. It certainly wasn’t for me.
Weakness vs Strength
As a woman, my relationship with the concept of love has never been easy or straightforward. Choosing a career that makes other people’s love life my business didn’t make it simpler, either.
Everybody, at some point, is told that they need love, but that love isn’t like in the movies. Most women, at least once in their lives, are taught that love is all they should care about, but when we do start thinking about our ideal man or our dream wedding, we’re quickly branded as dull or shallow.
It’s a classic catch-22.
The older I got, the more I came to realize that for a lot of people, love is a strength when it’s an abstract idea that is used to move or inspire. To dream of wonderful things.
But when it’s something that needs to be chased or sought, when love is this human desire that leaves people vulnerable and exposed, it’s considered a weakness.
That doesn’t seem very fair, does it?
In the End, It’s a Choice
The day I decided to be a matchmaker was the day I officially stripped myself of the shame that comes with admitting I want love — that I’m looking for love.
After all, how can I walk the talk and be sincere with my clients if, deep down, I’m embarrassed with needing the very thing that ties every human in the world together?
Is it really so bad to want someone to spend the rest of your life with? Is it silly to feel butterflies in your stomach over someone’s smile, or to feel yourself blush when someone pays you a compliment?
Is it a weakness to believe you were put on this Earth for the sole purpose of adoring one person ’til the end of your days?
I don’t think so.
The stigma against openly accepting that you want to love and be loved is an age-old problem, and one I know can’t be solved overnight. That is a delusion. Or perhaps wishful thinking.
But through my work and with every person I help unlearn this unwarranted guilt so they can find their soulmate, I can push the line. Every match made and every knot tied is a testament to the fact that while shame may be pervasive, love is enduring.
So the next time you find yourself rolling your eyes at sweethearts on a date, or a little girl having a crush, or divorced, single parents looking for a second chance, spare a moment to ask yourself this:
Don’t you want love, too?
