PAIN & MOVING O
No, You Don’t Really Need Closure
. . . and it’s something you have to accept before it’s too late.
What do you mean by “too late”?, you may ask. Well, if your pursuit of closure leads you to take for granted all the good things that are still in your life, that is.
So many relationships end abruptly or without proper resolution, and the people left behind tend to look for answers to a lot of questions, or even reasons for their pain and heartbreak.
This is why some have trouble moving on, or spend so much of their time looking for closure. They believe a proper ending will help them better heal and move on.
But that’s not always the case.
If It’s Holding You Back
Sometimes, wanting to have closure will be the very thing that stops you from getting over something or someone that continues to hurt you.
People who refuse to move forward and insist on waiting for an apology or an explanation end up wasting so much time that they could’ve spent doing better things, like growing and finding new opportunities for happiness.
When you begin to realize that the world is passing you by in your quest for closure, maybe you should accept that it’s just not worth it.
If You’re Just Using It as an Excuse
Breakups can leave you in fear of being vulnerable again, which is why it can be hard to start over and open yourself up to new people.
As such, there are others who will use the lack of closure from previous lovers as an excuse to sabotage themselves. After all, as long as you’re waiting for something you’ve convinced yourself you need, you don’t have to risk going out there to chase something you want, right?
But this justification can’t work forever, and the longer you use it as a crutch, the harder it will be for you to face the things you’re really afraid of.
If They Can’t Give It to You
The best kind of closure is still one that’s mutual, and for a lot of estranged ex-lovers, it’s just not possible anymore.
We can’t control other people — what they’ll do, how they’ll feel, and whether or not closure is also something they want to have.
Yes, it’s entirely possible to find peace by yourself, but so many others still insist on a stamp of approval from the person who hurt them or whose heart they’ve broken.
However, if someone just can’t bring themselves to give you the blessing to move on, no amount of waiting will make much of a difference. Perhaps it’s better to give yourself that blessing.
If You No Longer Need It
There are also people who think closure is the final step that’s required before accepting themselves as someone who’s truly moved on.
But here’s the truth: it isn’t.
Or at least, it doesn’t have to be.
You shouldn’t invalidate all your hard work and call it useless or incomplete just because you’re missing one last component so many people keep saying you need to achieve. It’s not fair to you, especially if you’re not even sure you believe in it.
If you’re finally happy again, and you’re only feeling guilty because you haven’t had closure yet, it’s time to stop beating yourself up.
Not everyone needs to tie all loose ends just to consider a chapter of their lives over and done with. Sometimes, some things are really just better left in the past.
