RELATIONSHIPS
Overcoming Common Issues in Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships are sometimes unavoidable. For some couples, it may be because of work. For others, it’s because they’re from different countries.
If you and your partner are part of the latter, then you have no choice but to be long distance lovers. That is until you both agree that it’s time to live together.
However, for now, as you’re preparing to handle loving someone from a distance, you need to know how to face the common issues that you’ll possibly encounter in this kind of setup. This way, you’ll know what to do when these issues arise.
3 Common Issues of Having a Long Distance Lover
Most people say that distance doesn’t matter. But no relationship, especially those who love from afar, is safe from problems.
One reason is that you don’t know what problems to expect. Knowing what kinds of issues you’re bound to face allows you to prepare and be ready to manage them. That said, here are some harsh realities that you’ll encounter when loving someone from a distance.
1. Jealousy and Insecurities
Due to the distance, you can’t always reach your partner. This is usually when the what-ifs will start to flood your mind.
What if they don’t love me anymore? What if they’re cheating on me?
Such questions will plague you and trigger your jealousy and insecurities. At times, you’ll become aware that what you’re feeling is irrational. You may try to bottle it all up.
However, no matter how hard you try, your jealousy and insecurities will sometimes spill. Unfortunately, your partner won’t be able to easily pick up on what you’re feeling, which will only trigger you more.
That said, jealousy and insecurities can sabotage your long-distance relationship. They can end up getting the best of you until you decide to call it quits.
2. Lack of Closeness and Connection
Another harsh reality of being away from your partner is that you can really feel the distance. Being in two different countries, you lack the physical closeness that you need to stay connected.
Even so, long distance communication doesn’t always work. At some point, some couples experience a rut in their relationship. They no longer feel emotionally and physically connected with their partner. So they decide to leave the relationship as they’re not receiving any more fulfillment from being in it.
3. Judgment and Expectations from Others
Not everyone will understand your choice to love from afar. Some people might judge your partner and doubt their ability to stay committed. They’ll point out the fact that you won’t always be able to know what your partner is doing every day. They might even ask if your partner has lied to you at some point.
Moreover, aside from judgment, many will assume that long distance communication is easy because of the Internet. That’s not often the case, especially if you’re from different countries with contrasting time zones.
Although their judgment and expectations shouldn’t affect you, as you know the truth deep down, they can still plant unnecessary thoughts into your head. Moreover, it can cause you to feel pressure to keep up with the expectations and make it seem that your long distance relationship is as smooth-sailing as they say.
Once you encounter these negativities, you may end up being engulfed in them. As a result, you might take out your unpleasant feelings on your partner, as well as impose the same expectations on them.
Distance Is Not a Barrier: How to Deal with Issues Surrounding Long Distance Relationships
With all the different issues that can break your relationship with your long distance lover, you must be ready to face them. Make sure that distance is not a barrier by doing the following:
1. Nurture a Secure Attachment
Jealousy and insecurities push you to assume things about your partner and act impulsively on them. If left alone, it can grow into an obsession and you’ll end up being controlling. In the end, it will sabotage your relationship.
To address jealousy and insecurities in a long distance relationship, you need to know your worth as well as your partner’s. Instead of giving in to doubt, learn to build confidence in yourselves and in your relationship.
Moreover, learn how to stop assuming. Talk and listen to your partner. Acknowledge their statements. If you’re uncertain about something they say, be calm and constructive instead of being aggressive.
2. Be There for Your Partner and Assure Them of a Future Together
Although you can say that distance doesn’t matter in your relationship, it does impact it. That’s because if you can’t handle long distance communication, you and your partner will eventually call it off.
To navigate the issues surrounding your closeness and connection, try to make your partner feel as if you’re there. Make it so they can’t feel the distance between you.
You can send over a gift, eat together while on Skype, play a game, or stream a movie. But aside from these, you need to be there to address their emotional calls or attempts to connect with you.
You can also create some long-term goals. It can be moving in or getting married. This way, the two of you have something to look forward to. In addition, you’ll be motivated to make things work by knowing that you have a future together.
3. Set Your Expectations in Your Relationship
As mentioned, some people may push their expectations onto you and your relationship, which may pressure you to do the same to your partner. However, instead of being consumed by these expectations, ask yourself:
What are our expectations?
Lay out the ground rules in your relationship. This way, you won’t be asking each other something that’s out of reach, nor will either of you do something that will unpleasantly surprise the other.
How to Express Love in a Long Distance Relationship
You now know how to deal with common issues that couples in long distance relationships face.
However, being able to deal with these problems shouldn’t be your only point of concern. You also need to know how to express love in a long distance relationship to keep your partner happy and fulfilled.
Here are some of the things that you can do:
1. Be Consistent
The distance can sometimes make you lazy in your relationship. If you’re not able to meet your partner’s needs, you can easily blame your lack of effort on things like a slow internet connection or the time zone difference.
For your relationship to work, you need to maintain consistency in your efforts.
Treat your partner as you would if you were meeting face-to-face. Continue to keep the fire alive by giving them compliments, preparing for special occasions, and planning virtual activities that both of you can enjoy.
2. Make Plans to Meet
With that, they’ll appreciate how you’re putting in the time to physically be there for them and make up for the times when you weren’t together.
3. Keep Them up to Date with the Changes in Your Life
Being in a long distance relationship can sometimes make couples fall out of love. This is because when they finally see each other, it’s like seeing a whole new person.
Changes are unavoidable. But don’t make your partner feel as if they don’t know you anymore. Share with them your newfound interests and hobbies. Let them know what you’ve discovered. Show them that distance is not a barrier to your bond.
Is Long Distance Worth It?
As an international couple, it depends on how well you’ll be able to handle it.
You must know how to deal with the common issues that you’re bound to face with your long distance lover. Don’t let distance break your relationship. Navigate through its challenges and work on making each other feel loved and appreciated even though you’re miles apart.
