DATING ADVICE
Interracial Marriage Benefits: Why American Men Shouldn’t Marry American Women
I recently spoke to one of my clients during a screening process, and he made a comment that caught my attention.
He said he’s never dating an American woman ever again. That he’s heard a lot of good things about interracial marriage benefits and he’s convinced he wants a foreign wife.
Of course, I didn’t discourage him from believing his latter statement. There are plenty of benefits to having a spouse who hails from another country. But it’s the first part of what he said that made me pause. I’ve heard a lot of men say it in recent years — that they’re done with American women.
But is this mindset really about interracial marriage benefits? Or is something else fueling this conviction that more and more American men seem to be adopting?
Interracial Dating: What Is It and Who Is Doing It?
Simply put, interracial dating is when two people from different races or ethnicities are in a relationship.
You’re an interracial couple if one of you is American, for example, and the other is not, like myself who is a Ukrainian born and raised in Eastern Europe.
There are different ways for an interracial couple to come together. They can meet abroad while one or both of them are on vacation or traveling for work. Or sometimes, one is an immigrant and grew up in a different country.
Or like my client, they actively look for foreign partners because they believe that marriage to someone outside their race can make their life much more meaningful.
Cultural Diversity and Broader Horizons
One of the most common interracial marriage benefits is having a family with diverse cultural backgrounds.
Instead of celebrating only Christmas and Independence Day on the fourth of July, you also enjoy Hanukkah and Lunar New Year. Your children will grow up with traditions and practices from at least two rich cultures, making them even more well-rounded people.
Opening yourself up to interracial relationships also allows you to step out of your comfort zone. You’re marrying someone not just because they live near you, but because you actually want them to be your partner in life.
Freedom from Expectation and Prejudice
If your experiences become more diverse, then any internalized racism you struggle with can become less.
Being married to a foreigner makes you understand why they are the way they are. You no longer judge them based on harmful stereotypes. Instead, you even incorporate their way of life to your own daily routine.
Being part of an interracial couple also breaks you away from expectations that force you to marry only from your own group of people. Rather than following convention, you follow your heart.
The Right Reason Not to Marry an American Woman
Notice how I didn’t put down American women while outlining different kinds of interracial marriage benefits? It’s because that’s not the point.
My client, God bless his heart, may have had bad luck with American women, so we can’t begrudge him his new approach to dating. Others like him believe that American women are angry feminists who hate men, and it’s simply not fun dating someone who is hyper-independent and emotionally unavailable.
Does he have the right idea? That depends on who you’re asking. As a rule, it’s better not to make sweeping generalizations.
But what I do want to emphasize is the motivation behind wanting to marry non-American women. I won’t stop you from marrying a foreigner. In fact, it’s my job to help.
But if you’re an American man looking to have an interracial marriage, I hope you understand that having a foreign wife is so much more than staying away from a certain group of women.
It’s not about your past and your fears. It’s about your dreams and the future that’s waiting for you.
