RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
How to Fix a Toxic Relationship before It’s Too Late
Most people talk about leaving toxic relationships. But while leaving is a good option, some still ask, Is it possible to save one?
In order to properly discuss the topic of how to fix a toxic relationship, it’s first important to understand exactly what a toxic relationship is.
According to Psychology Today, an unhealthy or toxic relationship is one that is emotionally or physically harmful to a person. The term was coined by psychology expert Lillian Glass in her 1995 book Toxic People, where she further explained that a toxic relationship is built on conflict, disrespect, competition, and the need to control your partner.
Toxic Relationship Examples
Emotional pain is a common factor in toxic relationships.
You find yourself constantly heartbroken, and your connection with your partner lacks healthy emotional intimacy. You often feel alone and unsupported. You don’t even know if your partner really loves you.
Other factors include poor communication, excessive jealousy, and even manipulation. If you don’t have room to grow and flourish, and you spend more time miserable than happy, then there’s a good chance you’re stuck in a toxic relationship.
Often conflated with abuse, toxic behavior in relationships isn’t always deliberate. Sometimes, couples end up with this kind of dynamic due to ignorance or as a product of other underlying issues.
Basically, all abusive relationships are toxic, but not all toxic relationships are abusive.
It is only when couples make the conscious choice to understand their situation and address their problems that they can successfully figure out how to fix a toxic relationship.
Ways to Fix a Toxic Relationship
Not every unhealthy relationship can be saved. If one or both partners are unable or unwilling to acknowledge the issues they’re dealing with, it’s difficult to aim for positive changes.
Which is why if you want to fix what you believe is a toxic relationship, there are several things you need to do:
- Accept the situation and make concrete plans
It has to be a mutual decision.
You and your partner should both be aware of the problem, and you should both make the plan of how to fix a toxic relationship together.
It doesn’t work if only one of you is ready to face reality and make the hard choices. It also won’t be successful unless you have clear goals that you both agree on.
- Take accountability
As a couple, you must take responsibility for the mistakes that led to the toxic behaviors that you’ve cultivated in your relationship.
Understand what went wrong, so you don’t run the risk of going in circles as you face this new chapter of growth and healing.
- Trust and forgive each other
It’s also important for the two of you to trust in each other’s commitment to fixing your toxic relationship.
Although you need to learn from your mistakes, it’s also not good to obsess over things you cannot change or dwell too much on the past in order to assign blame.
Be strong enough to forgive, and grant each other the chance to move forward as better and wiser lovers.
- Go to therapy
Lastly, seeking professional help remains a great way to address any kind of relationship conflict.
Trained therapists and counselors are still the most qualified when it comes to knowing how to fix a toxic relationship. They can be objective about your situation and properly evaluate your progress.
