How Impostor Syndrome Can Ruin Your Love Life

Have you ever felt like you’re not enough? It can often seem like you believe you don’t deserve to find love or be loved by anyone. Those unpleasant thoughts and feelings fall into one specific problem — impostor syndrome.

What is Impostor Syndrome?

It’s defined loosely as a feeling or experience that you are not competent enough to deserve what you have. You can often find this syndrome happening when it comes to intelligence or having achievements.

Imagine a situation where you won a competition. Impostor syndrome lets you believe you won because of pure luck — that you’re a fake who didn’t try hard enough. You feel like you weren’t competent enough to surpass everyone.

You can also imagine achieving a scientific breakthrough. Instead of patting yourself on the back for your hard work, you think you don’t deserve the reward. You feel like everyone’s going to turn on you for being an impostor.

That’s what the syndrome feels like, and it affects everyone. No matter what age, social status, or career background, the impostor syndrome will affect anyone it catches in its net.

Be Aware of these Signs

Having impostor syndrome doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow process that builds up until you’re ready to burst. To know when the syndrome appears, you must be aware of the signs.

• Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage is the mindset that interferes with your relationships. It’s often seen as the feeling of not being enough.

• Setting High Goals

Another sign is setting high goals for work, school, or even your hobbies. If you fail, you blame yourself instead of realistically assessing that those goals were unachievable anyway.

• Fear of Expectations

You’re too afraid to take on new challenges because you don’t want to face any expectations. Even though you’re more than capable of handling them, you play safe and avoid taking risks.

• Unable to Assess Yourself

The last sign you should be aware of is the one hidden in plain sight. You know you can handle most of the things you’re dealing with, but you run away because you believe you’re not good enough.

Some of these signs manifest themselves into patterns but will stay hidden until you’re ready to explode. Watch out for them, and maybe you can stop yourself or someone else from burning out.

How it Ruins Your Relationships

The biggest part about impostor syndrome is how it can ruin your love life. It gets in the way of all your relationships because you believe you’re not good enough for any of them. You want to be perfect, and you’re afraid your partner won’t love you if you aren’t.

You’re afraid to show up for the second date, or you feel like you’re only going to get rejected. That’s how the impostor syndrome takes hold of your love life. You will have trouble finding a lasting relationship if you don’t overcome it.

Overcoming the Impostor

The best way to beat the syndrome is to talk to others. Talking to a professional will greatly help, but your friends and family are there for you too. Your doubt and self-sabotage manifest when you stop talking to others about how you feel.

Another way is to stop comparing yourself to other people. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, and the more you compare yourself to them, the more you’re unaware of the syndrome taking hold of you.

Finally, don’t ever feel worthless when it comes to relationships. You deserve to find a romance that will last. Even the impostor syndrome is powerless in the face of love. Stay strong!