Dating Tips
Thinking of Good Questions to Get to Know Someone You Like
Asking about the right things can go a long way when you’re interested in learning more about a person.
This is even more significant when spending time with a person you like, where coming up with good questions to get to know someone becomes a top priority.
You have to find a balance between maintaining spontaneity and making sure you’re prepared by putting your best foot forward. Your conversations have to be natural but with fewer risks of you messing things up by asking about a taboo subject or letting things turn awkward because you don’t know what to say next.
Most of the time, that goal is easier said than done.
From Strangers to Friends to Something More
According to author and communications expert Dianna Booher, even successful people and top executives struggle in a social setting.
Those who are used to analyzing situations and solving problems can feel uncomfortable when trying to turn small talk into a meaningful conversation. Having good communication skills and a goal in mind will not always be enough. You also need to be sincere and adaptable.
When talking to someone you find attractive, it’s vital to be as charming as you are genuine. You must also be flexible about all the turns your conversation can take.
Whether you’re using pickup lines to flirt with a beautiful stranger or going on a date with a longtime friend, there’s an art to looking for questions to ask to get to know someone romantically.
It’s not always enough to make someone laugh at your jokes or bond over terrible restaurant food. You also have to make a great impression that will also make them interested in getting to know you.
First Date Questions
When preparing good questions to get to know someone, you have to take into account the time and place of your interaction. The context of the situation also matters.
Have you been acquaintances for a long time? Or are you strangers on your first date?
If it’s the latter, then below are some recommended questions that you can ask to start forming a bond with the object of your romantic interest:
- Who is your favorite person in the world?
- What’s a personal or professional goal that you’re working on right now?
- What do you do in your free time?
- What is something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet? What’s stopping you from doing it?
- If money or career aspirations aren’t an issue, what job would you like to have?
- Do you have any pets? If yes, how did you come to have them?
- What is a move that never fails to make you cry?
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received? Who gave it to you?
- What kind of partner do you want to end up with?
It will still depend on you which questions you ultimately go for, but the idea is to express genuine interest and start a conversation that will help you develop a meaningful connection.
Relationship Topics to Avoid
Aside from choosing the right talking points, it’s also necessary for you to identify topics that you’re better off avoiding when coming up with good questions to get to know someone.
These topics usually involve matters that may be too personal, especially if you’re not close to someone just yet. Instead of endearing yourself to someone you like, you may offend them if you ask questions about things like politics, religion, family issues, and past relationships.
Unless you already had a prior conversation about it, it’s also safe to steer clear of discussions about bedroom preferences and physical intimacies. You can come across as presumptuous and only interested in sleeping around instead of starting a serious commitment.
Other subjects you should avoid will be more obvious as your conversations go further. In time, you’ll reach a point where some topics will be appropriate and you’ll feel comfortable pushing the line.
Getting to know someone you like is both a delicate process and a wonderful journey that will hopefully lead you to someone you can share a relationship and future with.
Often, that journey starts with a thoughtful question.
References
Booher, Dianna. n.d. “How to Skip Small Talk and Get to Know Someone.” Dianna Booher. https://booherresearch.com/skip-small-talk-get-know-someone/.
