CHEATING
Factors You Need to Consider Before You Forgive a Cheater
Not everyone can forgive a cheater. Frankly, not every cheater deserves to be forgiven either.
But figuring out whether or not you should give another chance to someone who was unfaithful to you can be tricky. Not only is it mentally and emotionally taxing, you also have to wrestle with the possibility that they will do it again.
So if you’ve been on the receiving end of that kind of betrayal but you can’t immediately write them off, you can look into some important factors that should help you determine if they’re worth your forgiveness or not.
If they’re acknowledging what they did (and why it’s wrong)
You can’t forgive a cheater who won’t admit they’re one. You just can’t.
While it’s far easier to consider forgiveness if they came clean to you on their own volition, that’s just being too optimistic for some situations. Most of the time, you’ll find out by yourself or other people will tell you about it.
If that’s the case and you still want to forgive them, at the very least, they have to admit that they messed up.
Someone who won’t acknowledge their mistakes will never work to make up for them. You’ll just end up waiting for nothing.
If they’re genuinely asking for forgiveness
Admitting they’re wrong is one thing. Finding the courage to actually apologize is entirely another.
Before you forgive a cheater, it’s important for you to be sure of their sincerity. While some people see the act of asking for forgiveness as something akin to swallowing their pride, there are others who can skillfully pretend to be repentant.
And if you’re not careful, they can fool you again, this time into thinking they feel remorse when, in fact, they really don’t.
If they can promise never to do it again
Someone’s history with cheating can also help you decide if they deserve to be forgiven or not.
If they’ve never done it before, then it’s easier for you to believe if they say they’ll never do it again. It’s still not a hundred-percent guarantee, but their track record can give their words more weight.
Because if you forgive a cheater who’s done it over and over again, not just with you but also with their previous partners, then you’re taking a huge risk that most would find you gullible for.
If you give them a second chance when you know, deep inside, that they’ll never change, you’ll just be signing yourself up for a potential toxic cycle. Worse, you can end up changing for the worse just to cope.
If they can understand why forgiveness can take time
Another important thing that you and your partner have to know is that forgiveness takes time.
You shouldn’t pressure yourself into accepting their apology, no matter how sincere it is. Similarly, your partner also shouldn’t demand that you move on just because they did all the right things and said all the right words.
So before you forgive a cheater, make sure they know that things will never return to how they used to be. They have to understand that their infidelity will leave a lasting impact, and they need to face the consequences.
The only way for you to truly move past your partner cheating on you is not by denying what happened but by understanding the changes that their betrayal will have caused — and dealing with them together.
