Psychology
Being in a Delusionship Is No Laughing Matter
It’s easy to get desensitized to all the terms and buzzwords that float around the internet and make their way into modern vocabulary.
As a result, you can end up disregarding or laughing at actual problems because it’s annoying to hear about them all the time.
One of these issues is the concept of “delusionship”, which gained popularity on TikTok in the last couple of years but remains a legitimate concern that more people should take seriously.
Delusionship vs Situationship
If you’re always spending time with someone while doing romantic things, but you’re not officially together, you’re probably in what is called a situationship.
The actual label is unspoken, but you both know there’s something other than friendship between the two of you.
A delusionship, on the other hand, lacks any sort of mutual understanding.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines delusions as “fixed beliefs that are not amenable to change in light of conflicting evidence.” They’re also a common symptom of schizophrenia, which is a mental illness. Someone afflicted with it is often described as losing touch with reality.
A person in a delusionship has convinced themselves that they’re dating someone despite there being no evidence to support their claim. Whether it’s with a neighbor, a celebrity, or a stranger they’ve met only once, they’ve imagined a relationship that only exists in their mind.
Relying on the law of attraction and believing that you can get what you want with positive thinking is one thing.
But it’s entirely another when you reject everything that’s real and live in a fantasy of your own making. It’s even worse when you let it stop you from achieving true happiness.
Are You in a Delusionship?
Since it can be challenging to differentiate having a one-sided crush or daydreaming about someone from being in a delusionship, below are some signs that you can refer to:
- You’ve never met them and they don’t know who you are, OR you’ve met but you don’t have a connection deep enough for a romantic relationship.
- You find yourself constantly fantasizing about doing things with them that you know are not possible.
- Your investment in your supposed relationship is not the same kind of effort they’re putting in (if they even know you).
- You’ve stopped entertaining other people because you’re convinced that the person you like will eventually like you back (even if you’re not doing anything to make that happen).
- The person you like is in a relationship with someone else, but you believe they won’t last.
- The person you like has told you before that they don’t feel the same way, but you think they’re just playing hard to get.
How to Get Over a Delusionship
Unrequited love is a common experience that a lot of people can relate to.
It’s not a mistake or a moral failing to fall in love with someone who can’t love you back. As long as you’re respectful of their choices and you avoid being unfairly resentful, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
But nurturing a delusionship is an unhealthy coping mechanism that can harm both yourself and other people. It can also make you a laughingstock in your social circles.
To recover from this, you need to acknowledge your situation and identify the kind of relationship you deserve. You also have to surround yourself with the people who actually care about you.
It can be painful and even embarrassing, but if you find yourself experiencing a delusionship, it’s better to acknowledge it. That way, you can begin to heal from it and face life anew.
References
Nall, Rachel. n.d. “Delusional Disorder: DSM-5-TR Definition, Symptoms, and Treatments.” Symptom Media. https://symptommedia.com/delusional-disorder-dsm-5-definition-symptoms-and-treatments/?sscid=c1k8_14bdb5.
