DATING ADVICE
Dealing with Dating Anxiety in the 21st Century
Just because you can now date someone online doesn’t mean love is suddenly easier for everybody. If anything, a lot of single men and women would even swear that it’s harder now than it’s ever been.
Hence, more people are worrying about dating anxiety and why it can be more challenging in the digital age.
What Is Dating Anxiety?
A 2023 poll published by The Independent found that nearly 9 out of 10 people feel nervous before a first date. 39% even admit to consuming alcohol to calm themselves down.
This can be attributed to dating anxiety or the excessive fear experienced by people who pursue romantic relationships.
To be fair, it’s normal to have worries when you’re putting yourself in the dating market. It takes a lot of courage and commitment, not to mention the time and effort it requires to meet people and find out if you’re compatible enough for the kind of relationship that you want.
But while dating anxiety isn’t officially part of the DSM or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it can be a legitimate issue especially in the modern dating world where technology can make things just as convenient as they are panic inducing.
Dating Anxiety Symptoms You Need to Take Seriously
The key term here is “excessive.”
Even if a bit of fretting and second-guessing is expected when you’re dating, there are signs that can indicate that what you’re going through is no longer normal.
- Repetitive Negative Thoughts
A few whispers of doubt are okay. That just means you’re a human being who is concerned about making people like you and doing your best.
But if your negative thoughts don’t seem to end, to the point that they start to become debilitating, then it’s possible that you have dating anxiety that needs to be addressed.
If you’re not careful, your thoughts can translate into words and actions that you’ll regret later on.
- Uncontrollable Physical Reactions
If the sweating and heart palpitations are getting out of hand, then you have to find a way to manage them.
Even when you’re online dating, where movement and facial expressions aren’t immediate concerns, it’s still possible to have physical reactions when you’re worried about impressing someone or afraid of getting rejected.
Before you go down the rabbit hole and end up diagnosing yourself with unrelated mental health conditions via WebMD, it’s best to be familiar with dating anxiety and the toll it can sometimes take on the body.
- Mood Swings
The internet is notorious for encouraging fast-paced lifestyles that make people bounce from one emotion to another within a short amount of time.
But even though dating today can have a deep impact on your state of mind, you still have to take note of severe mood swings caused by fears surrounding your quest for love.
Not only are they unhealthy, but your mood swings can also make you bad company, which is hardly the goal if you’re trying to convince someone you’re a good catch.
How to Stop Dating Anxiety
You can’t always control your thoughts and feelings, but there are ways to make sure that they don’t overwhelm you.
One good tip is by having realistic expectations, both of yourself and the people you meet.
Dating anxiety in the modern dating world can be exacerbated by constant influence from people and trends online. You will only get more worried if you let your mindset be shaped by the kind of love others tell you to chase or the kind of person you need to become just to be loved.
To avoid that, take a step back once in a while and reassess just what kind of partner and relationship you really want to have.
In this day and age when romance can feel like a complicated obligation, it’s important to hold on to what really matters — a love that is stronger than any of your worries and fears.
References
Litner, Jennifer. 2022. “What is dating anxiety? Causes and tips for managing it.” MedicalNewsToday. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/dating-anxiety.
Tuckey, Francesca. 2023. “First date fears listed in new survey.” The Independent. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dating/dating-first-date-confidence-valentines-b2281112.html.
