Realities
Why Giving Effective Dating Advice for Men Is Not Easy
If you’re a man, you’ve probably had your fair share of moments when you were at the receiving end of dating advice that just didn’t make any sense.
Even if the people around you mean well, it’s hard to deny that some of the encouraging words women often get when it comes to love and relationships don’t quite work for those outside the female persuasion.
There’s a science to giving good dating advice for men — the kind that actually helps and does more good than harm.
Common Dating Advice vs What Men Really Need
While the role of biology in gender psychology continues to be a subject of debate, it is apparent that society treats men and women differently.
An article published by BetterHelp about how men fall in love highlighted this distinction. How you are raised, educated, and treated by your peers has a lot to do with whether you’re a man or a woman, and that in turn affects how you approach romance.
Since ladies are more encouraged to express themselves emotionally, dating advice for women ends up being more conventional and accessible. Guys then feel neglected because they can’t relate to dating tips that most people believe are for everybody.
This usually leads to men either believing in bad advice or becoming isolated and giving up on love entirely.
Dating Advice for Men from Women
Just because men and women don’t always see relationships the same way doesn’t mean that a woman can’t give good dating advice for men.
There just has to be nuance and a careful awareness of personal bias.
As a female relationship counselor who has worked with a lot of men from different countries (with different cultural backgrounds and gender roles), below are some of my guiding principles in terms of helping men navigate the world of dating:
- Do not insist that all men and women are the same.
Whether we like it or not, it’s important to recognize all the ways that gender can affect a person’s dating experience.
Since society expects certain things from them because they’re men, guys will strive to be the kind of lover and partner that fulfills these expectations. You can never understand them if you refuse to acknowledge this reality.
- Traditional gender roles aren’t always bad.
You can’t automatically dismiss a guy who wants to be a provider for his family, who wants to find a woman he can dote on and protect.
There’s nothing wrong with following traditional gender roles if the people involved are on the same page when it comes to their goals and expectations.
If your idea of dating advice for men is to always discourage guys from what they want simply because it’s considered conventional, then you may need to reevaluate your own motivations.
- It doesn’t always have to be about emotions.
Another thing that people have to consider when counseling men through relationships is the way guys in general approach emotional topics.
Instead of just urging them to focus on feelings all the time the way women tend to do, it’s also necessary to provide a logical perspective that can help men come up with solutions that make sense to them.
How to Give the Best Dating Advice
Giving dating tips for beginners and low-stakes advice is pretty easy since a lot of modern dating practices can apply to both men and women.
But if you want to give good dating advice for men that will help them establish serious commitments and find lifelong partners, then you have to be realistic about the way the world works.
You need to accept that although men are like women in the way they ultimately want to be happy and loved, the path to getting there can also be the road less traveled.
References
Henry, Paige. 2024. “How Do Men Fall In Love?” BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/how-men-fall-in-love-psychology-of-the-male-brain-in-love/.
