AGE GAP COUPLES
Is Dating a Manther Really Bad for Young Women?
From the same place that birthed the terms “cougar” and “puma” comes another name, this time for men: manther.
If you’re trying to describe an older man who dates women visibly younger than him, then chances are you’d encounter this slang. Just like “cougar,” which refers to an older woman in a relationship with a much younger man, manther is often not meant as a compliment.
But is having a significant age gap with his partner all it takes for a guy to be called a manther?
And do men who fit this description really pose a threat to women in the dating market?
Manther: Meaning, Qualities, and Implications
The cougar slang traces its origin to Canada, where it’s said to have first appeared on a dating website in the late 90s. Now, Urban Dictionary has an entire Feline Scale, with different animals assigned to a particular age range of women who “prey on younger men for their sexual appetite.”
The manther follows the same theme. It’s a portmanteau of “man” and “panther,” another feline. Dictionary.com added the term to its list of slangs in 2020, and from then it has been considered the official male version of cougar.
Manthers are “not genuine gentlemen.” They are often spotted in bars and clubs, carrying a fat wallet and wearing too much cologne. They dress and act younger than their age, all to attract women decades their junior.
At least, all those descriptors are courtesy of Urban Dictionary, which seems to be painting a picture of dangerous and predatory men whose goal is to take advantage of young and impressionable women.
On Age-Gap Relationships
The problem with using a blanket label with no regard for specific situations is that it runs the risk of oversimplification and stereotyping.
In the case of calling every man who’s in a relationship with a younger woman a manther, people can end up judging the entire concept of age-gap dating as a bad thing, which isn’t true at all.
Women who are called cougars also protest the derogatory name assigned to them. According to research published in the Journal of Aging Studies, most women view the label negatively and do not agree with how the world seems to automatically associate older older people’s sexuality with aggression.
Since society expects couples to be around the same age, relationships between a man and a woman with a significant age difference will always stand out. At best, they’ll serve as inspiration for those who defy norms just to follow their hearts.
At worst, with the terms manther and cougar and their negative associations, age-gap couples can be unfairly judged and discriminated against.
Welfare of Women vs. Discrimination
The concern against older people taking advantage of their younger partners isn’t unfounded.
After all, a huge age gap between couples can create unhealthy dynamics. Younger women, in particular, are in danger of predatory men who look for a partner they can easily control, one who doesn’t have as much life experience and may not even be financially independent with the means to leave if they no longer want to be in the relationship.
But the mocking way some call a man with a younger partner a manther can also promote ageism or prejudice against people’s age. They can force couples to live in shame simply because they have a noticeable age difference.
Young women with very little dating experience have a lot to look out for, yes, and older men with ulterior motives are some of them.
But preventing women from dating all older men simply because you disapprove of age-gap relationships is also not the right way to go. Under the right circumstances, an age-gap couple can have a relationship that is just as loving and successful as everybody else’s.
