Dating 101: Knowing When to Hold On or Let Go

Marta Levchenko
3 min readSep 19, 2022

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When we think about dating, we often get caught up in one of two extremes; either hold onto someone who isn’t right for us or let go as our romantic feelings slowly fade away.

The time will come when we need to decide whether to keep our relationship going or let go of it entirely.

If you have been dating someone for a while now, you may start wondering if they are the one for you or if you should just end things.

There are many factors that you should take into consideration before making a crucial decision. Here are some questions to ask when deciding whether it’s time to hold on or let go.

1. What are your expectations?

Think about your non-negotiable conditions in a romantic relationship. Communicate if you want your sexual needs to be met, if you want to be treated with respect, or if you want to have mutual understanding.

This also includes the pace at which you want your relationship to go. Figure out if you’re going to take things slow and enjoy each other’s company without rushing into intimacy. Or if you’re going to jump right in and level things up immediately.

2. Do you have the same values and beliefs?

If you don’t, then you will constantly be fighting over small issues due to opposing views about what’s deemed important in life.

If you do share similar perspectives, then you should consider sticking around. Otherwise, you will spend half your time arguing about nothing and the other half trying to change your mind.

Of course, some couples can make it work with compromise to overcome their differences.

3. Can you trust each other?

Trusting someone means that you believe that they’re honorable and trustworthy. If you don’t feel safe with someone, there can be various reasons for that.

Trust entails vulnerability that is the key to a deeper connection and lasting partnership.

4. Is this person willing to commit?

Commitment means more than just saying, “I love you.”

If this person wants to be with you, you’ll know it. If their actions are telling you otherwise, they probably don’t feel the same way about you.

5. Do you both agree that you should call it quits?

If not, then you can try to work things out. But if you have decided that you are done, then you should take the plunge and stop being indecisive.

6. Can you handle a bad breakup?

Even though you may have dated someone for a while and truly love them, sometimes things don’t work out in the end. It’s okay to accept this fact.

Don’t blame yourself and don’t hold grudges. You should still respect yourself and treat yourself well, regardless of the outcome.

7. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Sometimes things don’t go according to plan. Things may change at the last minute or you may learn that you weren’t meant to be with each other after all.

Regardless of what happens, you should always be happy with who you are and what you have achieved.

8. How do you define true love?

Love is something unconditional that should last forever and should never be taken lightly.

If you genuinely believe that you are in love, then you should set aside all doubts and continue to see your partner. If you aren’t certain that you want to keep seeing them, it might be time to end things.

Overall, these questions will help you determine how serious the relationship is. Knowing the right answers will help you decide whether you should hold on or let go, or if you should even try at all.

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