Is Chivalry Dead in Modern Dating?
With recent years boasting major strides in feminism and women’s empowerment, many people continue to wonder: is chivalry dead for good?
It’s a fair question, and one many guys looking to join the modern dating market can’t help but ask not just potential partners, but also the rest of the world.
Is a strong, independent woman still looking for a good old-fashioned gentleman?
Damsel in Distress No More
It’s hard to deny that so much of what people know about romance and courtship came from classic but arguably outdated beliefs and practices that may no longer apply to the present times. The idea of a gallant knight coming to the aid of a lady in need of rescuing seems to be a dream best left in childhood fantasies and fairytales.
With countless milestones in the campaign for feminism and gender equality comes a shift in how girls are being raised and how communities are accommodating these changes to previously established gender roles. If it used to be acceptable for a woman to let men do the heavy lifting in most things, it certainly isn’t now.
This mentality has affected many aspects of contemporary society, with women being encouraged to be self-sufficient in both their personal and professional lives, to men being warned against too much politeness for fear of others interpreting even well-intentioned acts as either asserting toxic masculinity or hiding an ulterior motive.
In fact, modern slang has introduced the term ‘nice guy,’ which often refers to a type of man who only helps women and performs all sorts of good deeds with the expectation of being rewarded with romantic attention or even sex. What used to be the default setting for interactions between men and women now creates an extra layer of suspicion and second-guessing that makes it more difficult to hold a conversation, much less date.
Since the mindset of many women today rarely encourages the traditional sense of masculine honor, done as a romantic overture or otherwise, people are led to wonder if modern feminism is killing romance.
Old but Gold
Despite this additional challenge for men in how they’re expected to conduct themselves in the ever-changing landscape of modern dating, there are still aspects of this ‘chivalry’ ideal that many women of today can appreciate.
Just as the 21st century has shaped an entirely different set of criteria for what makes a successful and accomplished woman, it has also given men certain standards to live up to — some impossible to achieve, and others even counterproductive if a man’s goals include a happy, loving relationship.
This is because while popular media and internet culture, in some ways, continue to promote buff, unemotional action heroes as the height of romance, a lot of women are shown to prefer partners whose strengths have less to do with bench pressing someone twice their size and more with the ability to connect with others on an emotional level.
It would seem that while nice, accommodating gentlemen can’t leave as good a first impression as they used to in the past, having good manners and high empathy are still desirable assets in the long run.
Sure, modern women who were taught to be competent and self-reliant may think twice about a guy holding a door open for them or offering to drive them home, but at the end of the day, it still pays to stick with the tried-and-true ways of showing a woman that a man is for keeps.
