Realities
Is Chasing Women a Good Way for Men to Find True Love?
They say you shouldn’t wait for love to come to you — that finding your partner in life means going out there and looking for them yourself.
Some people interpret this as advice to be active in dating.
They’ll attend social events or sign up for dating websites to meet new people. They will open themselves up and talk about what they want in a partner or a relationship in the hopes of connecting with someone who wants the same thing.
But others, particularly men, have taken this outlook on love as instructions to start chasing women — something that can lead to both positive results or disastrous consequences.
What “Chasing Women” Means
One of the most popular images that come to mind when talking about a man chasing a woman involves persistent courtship that borders on stalking.
He will confess to the object of his affections. He will shower her with gifts and praise. Even if she’s unsure about her feelings, he will continue fighting for his own.
It may seem romantic in movies and novels, but in real life, it’s often uncomfortable at best and creepy at worst.
Why Do Guys Always Like Chasing Women?
According to Grady Shumway, a licensed clinical social worker, chasing women can feel like the right thing to do when you like someone. After all, isn’t it the men’s job to pursue the women they’re romantically interested in?
Shumway also shared that it’s addictive and exciting. It’s a great way to fulfill a person’s need for companionship and sustain the fantasy in their mind.
Men also love winning, and chasing someone to make them like you back can lead to a grand romantic victory that you can feel good about later on.
But some guys also like chasing women because it keeps them single and available. If all they do is go after pretty ladies without making any serious commitments, then they can stop whenever it’s convenient and start chasing some other woman elsewhere.
This is why there’s a difference between chasing women and pursuing a woman you actually want to be with. If you genuinely want to find true love, you’ll realize that the former will always pale in comparison.
How to Stop Chasing Women
What happens when you stop chasing a woman?
There’s nothing wrong with going after what you want. In fact, you are encouraged to be proactive about your dreams and goals in life, including matters of the heart.
But you also have to analyze your motivations and limitations.
When you stop chasing women on principle and instead pursue someone you actually see yourself loving and being in a relationship with, you will have higher chances of success.
You will better understand what it is that she wants and whether or not you two are looking for the same things.
It starts by letting her meet you halfway.
Stop going for ladies who clearly aren’t interested. You will only waste your time trying to change their minds, and the thrill of the chase can only last you for so long.
Instead, get to know women who are upfront about wanting to connect and spend time with you. They are the ones worth pursuing.
Just because men traditionally do the courting doesn’t mean the effort always has to come from you. Men also deserve to be wooed, and the best partners are women who know this to be true.
References
Shumway, Grady. 2024. “5 Tips to Stop Chasing Women You Love.” Marriage.com. https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/stop-chasing-women/.
