PSYCHOLOGY
What Is a Beige Flag in Relationships and Does It Matter?
When you’re dating someone, you’re expected to spend a lot of time getting to know them.
You do this to work on your bond and determine if you’re compatible for a serious relationship. You learn about their life story, their secret dreams, and even funny stories about their worst exes.
Sometimes, you also discover their weirdest quirks and idiosyncrasies. This is what TikTok and the rest of the online community has been calling a “beige flag.”
What Is the Beige Flag in Relationship Trends?
Using different colors of flags to describe signals or warning signs in dating isn’t new.
But people are usually better acquainted with red and green flags, which are more self-explanatory and frequently used in discussions of modern dating practices.
A red flag represents danger, so any behavior or habits that pose a risk to you and your relationship are considered one. Meanwhile, green often means safe and stable. Green flags are things you look for in a person to know they’re an ideal partner.
Compared to red and green, beige comes across as paler and less eye-catching. It’s a neutral color, which makes a beige flag just the right symbol to represent traits and qualities that are distinct but not necessarily good or bad.
According to The Cut magazine, beige flags aren’t an immediate cause for concern, but they can be a cause for pause. They are things you learn about the person you’re dating that, though not a deal-breaker, can contribute to how you evaluate them as a lover.
Beige Flag Examples for Guys and Girls
Though it started out as any trait that is boring and uninteresting, the definition for a beige flag soon evolved into what it is now: quirks your partner possesses that make you go “Huh.”
For men, these can refer to behavior that makes them nerdy or just plain weird. Some examples include eating junk food using chopsticks because it “keeps his fingers clean” or watching foreign TV shows that are neither dubbed nor accessible with subtitles because he likes looking at the visuals without knowing the plot.
Beige flags in women, on the other hand, can be quirks that make her “not like girls” but in a fun or sometimes confusing way.
Maybe she wears sunglasses even when it’s raining. Maybe she talks to her cats in a British accent or likes eating spicy food specifically to make herself cry.
Unlike the qualities of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl or other famous girlfriend archetypes, a beige flag makes a woman more human and relatable. They speak to her personality and add depth to who she is not just as a partner but as a human being.
In the end, beige flags are relatively harmless things that make someone remarkable and even endearing to the right observer.
The Purpose of “Flags” in Dating
Dating tips in the form of colored flags are usually meant to help people be smart about choosing the right partner.
Red flags teach you to avoid toxic people who will only hurt you. Green flags give you ideal qualities to search for in someone and even aim to become.
While beige flags are useful in making you better understand the person you’re dating, they don’t have to be a big deal. You can treat them as fascinating discoveries or odd traits that you’ll have to accept and learn to live with.
You don’t have to constantly be on the lookout for every beige flag in your partner. Instead, you can see them as small milestones that mean you are growing closer and becoming more familiar with the person you’ve chosen to love.
References
Lemire, Sarah. 2023. “What Are Beige Flags? Experts Explain TikTok Viral Relationship Trend Meaning.” The Today Show. https://www.today.com/life/relationships/beige-flags-meaning-dating-rcna87242.
Mercado, Mia, Danielle Cohen, and Olivia Craighead. 2023. “What Is a Beige Flag? TikTok Trend, Explained.” The Cut. https://www.thecut.com/2023/06/beige-flag-meaning.html.
