Are ‘Alpha Males’ Really Terrible Lovers?
Ambitious, a natural leader, and highly successful: these are among the most common traits attributed to an Alpha Male. He dominates his chosen field, has easy access to wealth and power, and is an inspiration for many men looking to join the big leagues.
Sounds like an awesome kind of person to be, right? So why is it that so many self-proclaimed ‘alpha males’ nowadays are having trouble in the dating world?
Alpha Males vs Beta Males
Just as many aspects of social life are categorized into neat, little boxes, men and women are stamped with different labels depending on their background or personality.
Men in particular are frequently evaluated according to their place in a dominance hierarchy that assigns them one of the first two letters of the Greek alphabet: alpha and beta.
Beta males are those typically seen as submissive and weak. They have lower self-esteem compared to their peers and often have trouble speaking their mind. A beta male is also shown as displaying more ‘feminine’ traits, allowing him to easily join groups composed of mostly female members.
In contrast, alpha males project a more masculine vibe and can be seen as aggressive and pushy. Since they are in control of many things, it can be difficult for them to make compromises with other people, including women they may want to date.
Dating an Alpha Male
Yes, women have been dubbed lately as having standards that are too high when it comes to love and dating.
We’ve established that having standards is a good thing, but it may also create impossible expectations and unrealistic views on what makes someone suitable or not in terms of romantic relationships.
In the case of alpha males, the usual complaints involve women finding it hard to deal with how they typically act like the traditional ‘manly man’ that modern feminism often warns people against.
If they were to date an alpha male, most women would expect to be dominated and pushed back into the old-school role of a meek, obedient girlfriend or wife. After all, isn’t that what a man who likes to control everything is looking for in a partner? Another person he can command and order around?
The answer: not at all.
Just like it’s a faux pas to lump all the women in the world together into one group with a hive-mind-like collection of personas, it’s also not good — or even very nice, really — to judge or reject a guy simply because he fits most of the points listed down as criteria for a certain kind of man.
One bad experience with someone who identified as an alpha male doesn’t mean all ambitious and successful male leaders out there are no longer viable potential partners.
Benefits of Dating Alpha Males
Contrary to popular belief, alpha males can be fantastic lovers specifically because of the traits that set them apart from other men.
The following are five of the many reasons why dating someone who fits the bill of an ‘alpha male’ is a great — even exciting — idea.
1. He is goal-oriented.
A man who knows what he wants and exactly what to do to get it has a characteristic that is admirable in anyone — romantic partner or otherwise.
2. He is practical.
Being with someone who is efficient in all the things he does can help you adapt to a lifestyle that brings you closer to your own dreams and goals in life.
3. He is intelligent.
There’s no other way to put it. Someone who is smart and can easily understand how the world and the people in it work is definitely an ideal lover.
4. He is honest.
Because he is confident in himself and his abilities, there’s very little reason for an honest man to lie to his partner and maintain a relationship that’s built on deceit or manipulation.
5. He holds himself to high standards.
When a man who values quality in every aspect of his life chooses you as a lover, it can only mean that you are also on the right track, not just in your career or chosen profession, but in your relationships as well.
In the end, what makes a man a good or bad lover depends on so much more than random labels assigned because of common traits and behavior. What can seem unappealing on the surface because of a misinterpreted reputation can hide qualities that make for an ideal romantic partner.
The key now is to look deeper and give people the benefit of the doubt. After all, isn’t the warning against judging a book by its cover also best applied to love?
