PSYCHOLOGY
A Closer Look at ‘Do Men Even Have Feelings Meme’
We tend to make a lot of jokes about men and their inability to handle emotions.
It’s easy. It’s funny. And most of the time, it’s pretty harmless.
So when the Do Men Even Have Feelings meme became popular online, many jumped on the bandwagon. Some found the concept easy enough to understand, so they made their own versions to participate in the trend.
But others found the meme entertaining because of sheer irony. They genuinely believe that the joke is absurd because men, in fact, don’t have feelings. That’s what makes the whole thing hilarious.
And that, my friends, is where the problem lies.
The Story Behind the Joke
The Do Men Even Have Feelings meme is a simple four-part comic in the Wojak art style, or the black-outlined cartoon drawings that are commonly used in internet memes.
The top half depicts two women: the first complaining about a man not crying while watching the movie Titanic while the second one asks the titular question, “Do men even have feelings?”
The bottom half of the meme is for the man in question to have a deeply sad reaction over whatever someone chooses to add to the joke, usually a scene from another film or some other silly moment.
It’s meant to illustrate that the girls are wrong to assume that guys don’t have feelings because guys actually lament over mundane things.
While the joke seems to say that yes, men have feelings, its very existence is evidence to the contrary. It also doesn’t help that it’s yet again another mindset that sees and judges all men the same way.
We’re all laughing because we all know none of it is true. If there are men who can relate, they are childish and have reason to be embarrassed over having feelings in the first place.
On Men and Emotional Vulnerability
Because of traditional gender roles, men are often discouraged from showing emotions that are not considered masculine, like modesty, sadness, or even fear.
As a result, they’ve acquired a reputation of only being stoic or angry. Other feelings are therefore uncharacteristic and can be used to ridicule their manhood. Boys don’t like soft things, and they certainly do not cry.
This same reputation is the reason why jokes like the Do Men Even Have Feelings meme are universally funny. It pokes fun at men’s issues with emotional vulnerability because questioning their lack of feelings is the status quo.
But while joining an internet trend by editing funny pictures is largely innocuous, promoting the idea of men being apathetic does more harm than good.
Laughing with our friends about silly boys and their silly lack of feelings can affect the way men look at themselves and how they handle their relationships.
Do men have feelings? No, the meme seems to say. Of course they don’t. And anyone who thinks otherwise is, in the end, the real butt of the joke.
Mockery Versus Earnestness
At the end of the day, we can’t police the use of the Do Men Even Have Feelings meme and others like it. Freedom of speech exists for a reason, after all.
But the next time you see a joke that aims to mock men for having feelings, perhaps it’s better to double down and insist on everyone’s right to be emotionally vulnerable — men and women both.
Yes, men do cry over sad movies and cat videos.
Yes, men are allowed to be moved by beautiful things and beautiful people.
And yes, men are very much capable of love.
